BEST OF MOJONEWS

TAMPA – A small altercation occurred during the Color Me Badd reunion concert at the Florida State Fair this weekend, causing many to question the “draconian and inhumane” practices of the State Fair security. Amidst the balloons and raffle tickets, one ...full story

CHICAGO - In light of recent events set off by the Catholic church, officials at Playboy magazine decided not to release their Altar Boys in Service of Our Holy Lord feature article in the issue due in stores next month. Speculation indicates that promotion of such ...full story

BOSTON -Sandwich artist and employee Wayne Gris was on exhibit again today at the Boston area Subway #521. After donning the cloth of his craft, Gris mentally prepared for the day’s exhibit with his traditional sacrament of “punching in”. Toiling at the preparation of his ...full story

WASHINGTON – A new computer virus has recently created a wave of misunderstanding amongst the Internet community. The “Smiley” Virus as it has been called, specifically targets all concatenated colon/semicolons and parenthesis in outgoing emails and chat sessions. As a result, ...full story

ARIZONA -- An accidental Gamma-Ray burst on Friday bestowed special powers to mild-mannered, photojournalist Joe McNeil, a spokesperson for County Hospital confirmed. However the powers in question did not precisely match the powers McNeil had originally imagined. "His condition has ...full story

NEW YORK - Women’s overwhelming demands to find a "sensitive man" have apparently created an underground market for services that allow your average  "beer-guzzling, sex-crazed Neanderthal" to feign sensitivity convincingly enough to circumvent a woman’s intuition. ...full story

MojoNews Editor Lands Job With The Onion; Tells Other Writers To Kiss His Ass

MOJONEWS - Much to everyone's surprise and astonishment Charles Smiley, editor of MojoNews, announced that he had just been offered a job from the Onion© that he would be accepting. Despite past cheerleading and propaganda issued from Smiley stating that MojoNews was "far superior" to the Onion©, Smiley willfully admitted today "this place sucks" and that MojoNews is merely "a poor facsimile of an original". And since this should be his last article for MojoNews, Smiley decided that there was no point in writing a clever conclusion. Up yours, people.

MojoNews Editor Dismayed After Prank Phone Call

MOJONEWS - Charles Smiley, editor of MojoNews was upset beyond belief today as he found out that his dickhead writers were merely 'yanking his chain'. The editor, who had been fooled into believing that he had accepted a genuine position as Chief editor for the Onion©, kicked himself for being so stupid and being fooled over the phone by his numbnut co-workers. Thinking back, he should have been tipped off by all the snickering in the background on the call - and the fact that nobody offers "a billion-zillion dollars" as an editors salary. Smiley vowed to seek revenge on the guilty parties through a series of bloody disembowelments and torture. You hear that Fred?